Your antichristian news leader has been rocked by scandal. It has come to light that Mr. Fillmore IV is not, in fact, dead. To maintain our journalistic integrity and to avoid finger pointing we rest the blame solely on the shoulders of Rosa Lopez, Ratrophy's Mexican maid. Ms. Lopez has been sentenced by the SOPs of #Jesus_Sucks_Dick to be fucked with a knife, receive a chainsaw to the cunt, and then be stripped, raped, and strangled. (Thanks, Cannibal Corpse!) Should she survive, she will be forced to marry Ratrophy.

We continue to assert that the remainder of the news article is 100% fact, or a reasonable facsimile thereof.

We here at www.jesus-sucks-dick.com are extremely sorry for any momentary discomfort that may have stemmed from Mr. Fillmore IV's reported death.

Stay tuned to www.jesus-sucks-dick.com, your antichristian news leader.